I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
