Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
