I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
