New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
