So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
