I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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