Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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