nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
