Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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