And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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