So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize