i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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