I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
