do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
