Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
