and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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