She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
