ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
