what day is it and did you see me today?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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