thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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