Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
