I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
