come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
