Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
