Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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