I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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