That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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