i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
