Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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