i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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