And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
