Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
