Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
