Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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