it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
