I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
