U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
