pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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