let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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