Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
