i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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