I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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