That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she told me i tasted like america
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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