I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Watching her eat just hurts me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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