Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
