I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
