i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
