Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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