you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
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