Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
